Odd isn't it? Not really

It has been mentioned to me that I never notice when people are looking at me. Now I am fully aware that I pass through life almost completely oblivious to what is going on around me, especially people. It happened again yesterday I troll off to post some letters and am observed by madam. When I return she says, what is it about you that everyone just stops and looks? Well that is bye-the-bye, the fact is I didn't notice them looking and then of course I realised why. They do it after I have passed them and without eyes in the back of my head how on earth am I supposed to know? I can't can I, although I did notice one woman as she reacted most favourably as she came towards me, it was a sort of oooooooooooooo :-) I 'spose there are things about people that they, because it is normal for them, forget but come as a surprise to others. Is it the newly acquired tan? Is it the very short bleached hair? Is it the tattoo's, the way I walk etc, etc or a combination. I dunno but all these things and more, are well, part of me so I forget them. Perhaps one day I'll catch someone at it and have the courage to ask them. Of course when I say that perhaps I should spend more time in a frock as people don't seem to notice me then that of course is met with a negative response ;-)

Lost but not gone gives you spots before the eyes

Eeeek, just found a multitude of frocks. Madam was wondering if there was anything of mine that would fit her for the hols so I delved into the darkest recesses of the wardrobe and there they were. Poor things hanging there forgotten, discarded and creased. Ah well into the washing machine with them. Of course this gives me a marathon ironing session but then if I'm in the mood I rather enjoy it. They do look nice hanging there in the sunshine gently waving in the breeze, all seven of them., six spotted in various colours and a flowery one, a mixture of bought and Viviene of Holloway. So all freshly ironed they await a trying on, Sunday I think, there is a promise of sun on Saturday and I wouldn't like to waste it.

Fed up with it

Off out again to Oxford Street and Primarni. No not buying, returning. Madam takes her and my stuff back while I peruse the shoes. By the time she has finished she finds me trying on a pair of white wedge heeled basketball type boots. Quite cute but too high for me. Definitely not for wearing for long periods and deffo not for the amount of walking I do.
We exit money intact and stroll down to M&S. Two more pairs of their knickers in a 12 primarily for the hols.
We leave there but as its before 9.30 Selfridges is shut. So we take coffee and a bun in Starbucks in North Audley St where it first happens. Madam gets the coffee and we await our munchies. As they are delivered its with.... Sorry to keep you waiting ladies. Tee hee goodness I'm passing in male mode again.
Hunger and thirst satisfied we go into Selfridges and I find the price of that Ted Baker deliciousness, £1500 mmmm a little out of my league by about £1400 :-)
We amble on stopping at Karen Millen and while we are perusing an assistant comes up from behind me and says to us both.... do you need any help ladies. So it happens again! I wouldn't mind but bleached hair or not with hair this short you can see the bald bit !!! Aaaaanyway she strolls off and madam says she is fed up with this keep happening, I of course revel in it. I do however say that it is far better for us to be referred to as ladies than to have someone say can I help you two gentlemen which makes her smile no end.

A pheonix rises

A trip to the new and as yet unopened Breathless shop yesterday. Madam and I went down by tube and met up with Dolenta and Andy in midst of decorating what appears to be a far better laid out shop. Soon madam, Andy and I have left them to it and wander into the gentrified part of Kings Cross. Gone are the gasometers and redone roads and buildings sparkle in the sunshine.



Of course its all rather trendy and thereby expensive. We meet up with Andy's cousin Stephanie and wander back to the shop for a chat before crossing the road into a time warp. An old fashioned pub, an Irish pub with hurling on the telly, well multiple tellies. Oh dear, I do not exactly fit in with the locals but they are friendly :-) A little drinkie and off to find something to eat. Poor Andy is starving. We wander up to the Euston Road and into yet another dive of a pub, The Rocket. Poor starving Andy, everything he chooses from the menu is... off, tee hee. Food eaten we return to the shop and take our leave. Stephanie has retired to the pub opposite so in we go to say our goodbyes and most of the lunchtime customers are still there at 6.30.

Today is T-girl Stephanie day, off to Camden. A wander round the stalls and shops in the markets then down the high street, we get to Camden Station and then its up Parkway to Pizza Express for lunch so I can more or less keep to the diet. Post lunch we return to the high street and pop into the Oxford Arms for a drink. We return to the market via the Canal and over the bridge by the Ice Wharf. Another wander and then its homeward bound.

Trying it on

So the grand try on of all the old clothes has all but finished and... it all fits again and in some cases are now too big !! But the statement of the day has to have come from madam. After simply years of stealing, being given and having made me frocks she now comes to me and says... do you have any summer frocks I can borrow for our holiday. Now do you all see how lucky I am to have someone like this. We give each other clothes, we share clothes, we buy each other clothes. Oh my, oh my I am sooooooo lucky and yes everyday I do give thanks, I do think of all those girls who have do this in secret.
This to me is why I do not need all the t-girl support groups websites etc, to spend secretive hours in the company of other girls.
I don't need to label myself. I am not transwhatever, I am me, as I have always been. Not for me the desperation of not having dressed for ages. I can dress in whatever way I choose whenever I choose. I can leave the house in male or female mode, visit local shops in either mode without a care. My femininity, if I have any, is apparent in both male and female modes to the point where it is now 'normal' and not even second nature. Not for me the hiding from nearly anyone I know or am related to, the only people who do not know are people I know will not understand and why on earth should I instigate aggravation for the sake of it. If people do not approve then who am I to force it upon them.

How big?

Well what do you know? Off today up town again nice and early. Into Primark for a pair of basketball boots in black and white. Before we get to the shoe department madam sees some jeggings and gets me to buy myself a pair. Just to be on the safe side we get a pair in size 14 and with wishful thinking a pair of size 12. Now seeing as she got herself a pair too you would think we could do a twinses act but no this is still not allowed, no going out dressed with her in tow. Well not until our holiday anyway. So out of there and into M&S for a look see, coffee in Pret but no bacon butty allowed or cakie-bit, boo hoo. Aaaanyway then its Selfridges. Down to the basement where I spot this divine suitcase a snip at £428. Well not so much a snip more a chop off the bank account ! Off we go to the denim section again where madam gets yet another pair of jeans, size 14 already ! A stroll round womens fashions of course where I frighten myself to death when I find out the price of that white and black McQueen skirt, £1235 yes that's right £1235, the decimal point is not missing! Aaaaanyway we get home and lo and behold the size 12 baby pink jeggings..... fit, RAH!

Fresh air

A trip to take advantage of the Superdrug Olay offer yesterday. As it was a glorious day and one for strolling it was of course sensible shoe day....



I hop on the bus and as we travel along a middle aged french woman gets on and sits next to me. She turns and says.... excuse me madame could you open the window. MADAME ! How fabulous is that!
So we eventually arrive at Oxford Street and off at Primark. Its about 9.30 and Primark is already busy, outside on the pavement sits two Arab women and they have already accumulated seven full sized Primark bags! I was looking for their nail kits but am waylaid by the arrival of their basketball boots in a myriad of colours, a mere £7 and £6 for the plimsole variety. Definitely one for a return visit. It all starts to get manic so I leave. I just cannot bear all the pushing and shoving and the lack of space to examine clothes, not that they had anything that took my eye anyway. I cross Oxford St and into Superdrug get what I have come for and am off again.

A stroll down Oxford Street in the sunshine and into Marks and Spencer where I espy a rather nice leopardskin print jacket in their Limited Edition and some leggings to go with it so all they would need is a nice brown or black top, mmmmm, definitely a post holiday outfit. Apart from a rather delicious dress in their Per Una Speziale range which would have very limited wearings there is nothing that really tickles my purse so into Baker Street and the civilised peace that is Selfridges.
Of course the shoe dept first, such wonderful shoes, too, too many to mention individually but of course I do linger over the Gina shoes, so shparklay !
Oooo frocks, so many fabulous frocks. As I pass the Alexander McQueen concession I am rather taken with a white shirt and skirt but a quick look at the price of the shirt makes me run a mile. Well I mean £840 for a white shirt although I am tempted as the assistant does, in her French accent greet me with "good morning madame", yes another one !
So its off the denim exclusives on the third floor, nothing new unfortunately although Primark have changed their range and not for the better either although I do have a little banter with one assistant on the Hudson jeans concession as I stroke a pair of jeans. If you need any assistance just ask she says, Oh I will I say, if I could get these up my legs I'd have them which tickles her no end. Back on the ground floor I take a look into what used to be Miss Selfridge, well it may still be. Aaaaanyway there I find an absolute darling of a frock, Ted Baker of course.



It must have been frighteningly expensive as it had no price tag and the Karen Millen concession was a revelation. So different, so modern quite unlike their shop in Brent Cross as I was to find out in the afternoon.
All too soon its time for home, we are back on week one of the diet and madam's weight loss has come to a full stop and we need to kick start the loss again.
Post lunch I'm off again, Brent Cross to pick up something from M&S for madam. Of course this means a stroll round too although of course its all autumn/winter stock now and my dears Fenicks ladies fashions have 'done a Tesco', yes the whole floor has been rearranged so to find a particular concession requires the services of Sherlock Holmes. Of course just to throw you certain concessions haven't moved, grrrrrrr!

Clickety-click

Well having been thoroughly turned off by Flicker's new layout and fed up with what seems like talking to myself on Ipernity and of course swearing blind I have better things to do with my life than fart about reading drivel masquerading as life shattering news and witty banter telling of the minutiae of sad peoples lives on Facebook I shall post these here. After sorting through all my clothes I find there is a wealth of stuff that now fits again, if I get to my target by losing another seven pounds they will look even better.

Phew !

Well an action packed few days I'll need this upcoming holiday! Lovely to catch up with Ray and Sian down on Canvey Island not seen them in ages and all that naughty food, ooo that naughty food. It will mean starvation for a few days but it was worth it. I notice that Southend-on-Sea is still the crap hole it always was. Amazing isn't it that despite efforts to the contrary some things do not change. Probably because it takes so long plus of course you can't renovate/knock down places that don't belong to you. So glad it was cool and windy last night so we didn't have to endure or get caught up in their carnival parade managing as we did to leave before it started.