Exhausting

Well that was a fairly exhausting weekend, for a change. Off Saturday to see Dolenta at her new Breathless premises in Euston. Just one of those trips, out the house, and the bus arrives at the bus stop as we get there. Off the bus and the train is waiting for us, the whole journey couldn't have taken more than 30 mins. So we arrive at about 1.45 to see Ugo touching up the exterior paint and we are inside. A smaller shop but only just. Within minutes Andy arrives so now we are five. Next is Dave and Yvonne who we haven't seen in about four years, followed by Andy's cousin Stephanie and her son making nine of us. Customers come and go all saying 'is there a party in here!, no its just a typical Saturday in Breathless is the reply.
Masses of catching up and gossiping when all of a sudden its time to close the shop, its six o'clock! Off up the road to a Mediterranean restaurant called Romance eight of us troop and an excellent meal it turns out to be, quite, quite delicious but as far off the diet as its almost possible to be. By the time we leave and take a quiet stroll to Euston Station, hop straight onto a train and only have to wait a couple of minutes for a bus we are indoors by 9.45, not bad for a non-shopping trip!
Sunday sees us off to the London Alternative Market to meet friends, starting earlier than usual we manage to find a parking space near to the venue in America Square. Pop into Pret in Crosswall for a late breakfast and put on the silly shoes and meet up with Penny, Natacha, Russell and Sarah then cross the road to the venue and spend the next five hours perusing and gossiping. I did see an absolute dream of a latex frock which I just have to have from Lady Alluras but its not on her website and some dreamy corsets from narcissus-rising. All in all a fab weekend.

Catch up

Sooooo Friday I decide to make picture day, naughty nighties, corselette's and corsets, just to see if they fit you understand ;-) I don't know if I've mentioned it before but I have been on a diet and lost all this weight and things have come back into the fold as they now fit again and things have left because they are too big. Aaaanyway I must admit that the diet has made me feel better in body and mind. So with no trepidation there was a flurry of activity as things were put on and stripped off willy nilly. I make no apologies for photoshopping myself on backgrounds as plain white is rather boring.
Post pictures I take myself off to Brent Cross for a en femme wander. Oooo autumn/winter is not my time of year all the clothes are so... well wintery, roll on spring.

Good, bad and indifferent

Madame and I went out last night, a comedy club in Camden. It was well, mmmm, good, bad and indifferent. Ask me who they acts were, dunno, some bloke off the telly who was good, Curtis Walker and the one before him was good but the last one oh dear. I 'spose if you found his type of humour funny then he was good but far, far too 'blokey' for my taste. From Newcastle and fitted the stereotype perfectly. Although one joke was funny because it was sooo true.
He comes to London and gets on the tube and on gets a transvestite dwarf. The gist of the joke is that he is the only one that looks at the dwarf and finds it strange, everyone else winds up looking at him staring at the t-girl dwarf. Yes we have, we have all seen it before, it is not entertaining but you and your attitudes my son are.
So what is about 'mainstream' venues that is so dire? Well to me that is. It is blokeyness, the need to get 'clever' to impress the girls and of course the pissheads. Of course this is not restricted to the blokes. Oh dear me no. As my daughter, who is one of the security at the venue says, the worst of all are the 'hen nights', in her words why are they sooo objectionable and they are, to a one.
We exit the club and wander down to Camden Town Station. It is an uneventful stroll and in the main everyone is ok but to see a guy being carried by his mates as he is so out of his head is sad. Its only just gone 10 and he has, to put it in the vernacular, stuffed his mates night out as they now have to take care of him. Perhaps they dumped him in a corner later, well if they had any sense they would.
But the legs, oh the legs, all those wonderfully short frocks totally delicious, tottering along in fabulously silly shoes, definitely my highlight of the evening.
Well we are off out again today. Its the London Alternative Market, meeting up with Penny and Natacha so that's a wonderfuly short frock for me and fabulously silly shoes.

Belt up 2

Off out to Oxford Street. Breakfast a la Pret and a wander through Selfridges to Elliot Rhodes and what do you know the nice young man that used to be in their Covent Garden shop is in their St Christopher's Place shop and he remembers us. Aaaanyway we manage to get two shortened free of charge as we are valued customers.
We return to Selfridges, madame wants to see if the Primark concession has my jeans in a size 12, which they have, well slightly different. This will enable me to give her my size 14's and I get the size 12's. A nice snug fit and they are purchased, nice to try on girlie clothes while in drab and not think anything of it ;-). We wander fashions where we find a rather fabulous leather jacket. Biker style but in red, black and white. How much says madame, oooo £1500 I say, her reply? £1400 but it was rather stunning. So then its off to the shoe department, a rather fab pair of over the knee heeled platform boots from Ugg trifles with me, so soft, so lovely but at £395 a trifle too much.
We are however rather taken by the Irregular Choice shoes and I rather fancy these.

Off out

Off out with Stephanie today, a visit to the V&A. A coffee and share a bun in their cafeteria which surprisingly was not as expensive as I thought and their food looked as delicious as it was reasonable. My biggest error was confusing the V&A with the British Museum when searching for some exhibits LOL Still as Stephanie said, British Museum next week. After our stroll round it off for lunch at Pizza Express in Beauchamp Place and very nice too and oh the shops, the frocks. Post lunch we take a stroll around Harrods, oh my days, the jewellery, the shoes, the Gina shoes especially these ones and as for those Dior boots with the embroidery. Rather underwhelmed by Jimmy Choo but then I always am and surprisingly the same by Christian Lamboutin. There was sooo much and as for that red fur coat at £11,800 ! To get ourselves back to earth we went home........ by bus LOL
Photo day tomorrow with the lovely Claire with Mamselle Maz for Prong Jewellery.

Day 2

Madame is not feeling too good today due to the radical change in diet. I go for an early morning walkabout and find these fabulous shoes!......

But as we are to find out shoes in Palma are expensive! 255 Euros no less.



Steph, Andy and I go in search of a late breakfast and a long gossip. Steph has a desire to go shopping and we start in C&A of all places. Not been in one of their shops in many a long year. Aaaaanyway we find nothing and traipse around a few more with no results but Madame has joined us now.
We return to a cafe near the hotel and take a long lunch before setting off for a stroll taking in an Irish bar on the front. Again as in Kings Cross the obligatory hurling is on the multiple TV screens :-( I have to say that sport is just not my thing, at all.
Back at the hotel the three of us are shattered, all this fresh air I 'spose. Madame and I decide to go walkabout to try and find the looky-likey men that's the fake handbag guys. We find them but fussy Anna decides they are not the style she desires so we carry on our merry way winding up at a restaurant near the hotel for a lateish dinner. So that is the end of day 2.
Looks like we shall be beaching it tomorrow, mmm could be the black swimsuit could get an airing.

Sent packing

Well that time is almost upon us. Out come the suitcases and the sorting of clothes. Yes its holiday time. It is all very well when one only has to pack for oneself but as I have to pack for him and her it all gets a bit fraught. As a bloke its simple, is it warm? Yes, well then t-shirts, shorts and trainers and he and his carrier bag are ready. Of course it now involves her as well. It's not just the amount but the difference between daytime and evening each requiring their separate outfits and one just cannot wear the same thing twice can one. Oh dear me no.
We do of course have all the little extras to include, the makeup, the hair and various other sundry items. It is not until one undertakes this sort of adventure the you realise how much room is taken up by things such as shoes. You just can't have one pair can you and the room that a handbag takes up is ridiculous. Thankfully having my time split between him and her will cut down on the outfits required and of course I do have advice close to hand, outfits she likes to see me in. Indeed it simplifies life and if she picks them then I might be able to squeeze more her time in than his. I have, needless to say, sneaked in a couple of things but as to whether they see the light of day let alone manage to escape the confines of our room is another matter.
All this presupposes that it all will fit and be within our weight allowance !

Fed up with it

Off out again to Oxford Street and Primarni. No not buying, returning. Madam takes her and my stuff back while I peruse the shoes. By the time she has finished she finds me trying on a pair of white wedge heeled basketball type boots. Quite cute but too high for me. Definitely not for wearing for long periods and deffo not for the amount of walking I do.
We exit money intact and stroll down to M&S. Two more pairs of their knickers in a 12 primarily for the hols.
We leave there but as its before 9.30 Selfridges is shut. So we take coffee and a bun in Starbucks in North Audley St where it first happens. Madam gets the coffee and we await our munchies. As they are delivered its with.... Sorry to keep you waiting ladies. Tee hee goodness I'm passing in male mode again.
Hunger and thirst satisfied we go into Selfridges and I find the price of that Ted Baker deliciousness, £1500 mmmm a little out of my league by about £1400 :-)
We amble on stopping at Karen Millen and while we are perusing an assistant comes up from behind me and says to us both.... do you need any help ladies. So it happens again! I wouldn't mind but bleached hair or not with hair this short you can see the bald bit !!! Aaaaanyway she strolls off and madam says she is fed up with this keep happening, I of course revel in it. I do however say that it is far better for us to be referred to as ladies than to have someone say can I help you two gentlemen which makes her smile no end.

Fresh air

A trip to take advantage of the Superdrug Olay offer yesterday. As it was a glorious day and one for strolling it was of course sensible shoe day....



I hop on the bus and as we travel along a middle aged french woman gets on and sits next to me. She turns and says.... excuse me madame could you open the window. MADAME ! How fabulous is that!
So we eventually arrive at Oxford Street and off at Primark. Its about 9.30 and Primark is already busy, outside on the pavement sits two Arab women and they have already accumulated seven full sized Primark bags! I was looking for their nail kits but am waylaid by the arrival of their basketball boots in a myriad of colours, a mere £7 and £6 for the plimsole variety. Definitely one for a return visit. It all starts to get manic so I leave. I just cannot bear all the pushing and shoving and the lack of space to examine clothes, not that they had anything that took my eye anyway. I cross Oxford St and into Superdrug get what I have come for and am off again.

A stroll down Oxford Street in the sunshine and into Marks and Spencer where I espy a rather nice leopardskin print jacket in their Limited Edition and some leggings to go with it so all they would need is a nice brown or black top, mmmmm, definitely a post holiday outfit. Apart from a rather delicious dress in their Per Una Speziale range which would have very limited wearings there is nothing that really tickles my purse so into Baker Street and the civilised peace that is Selfridges.
Of course the shoe dept first, such wonderful shoes, too, too many to mention individually but of course I do linger over the Gina shoes, so shparklay !
Oooo frocks, so many fabulous frocks. As I pass the Alexander McQueen concession I am rather taken with a white shirt and skirt but a quick look at the price of the shirt makes me run a mile. Well I mean £840 for a white shirt although I am tempted as the assistant does, in her French accent greet me with "good morning madame", yes another one !
So its off the denim exclusives on the third floor, nothing new unfortunately although Primark have changed their range and not for the better either although I do have a little banter with one assistant on the Hudson jeans concession as I stroke a pair of jeans. If you need any assistance just ask she says, Oh I will I say, if I could get these up my legs I'd have them which tickles her no end. Back on the ground floor I take a look into what used to be Miss Selfridge, well it may still be. Aaaaanyway there I find an absolute darling of a frock, Ted Baker of course.



It must have been frighteningly expensive as it had no price tag and the Karen Millen concession was a revelation. So different, so modern quite unlike their shop in Brent Cross as I was to find out in the afternoon.
All too soon its time for home, we are back on week one of the diet and madam's weight loss has come to a full stop and we need to kick start the loss again.
Post lunch I'm off again, Brent Cross to pick up something from M&S for madam. Of course this means a stroll round too although of course its all autumn/winter stock now and my dears Fenicks ladies fashions have 'done a Tesco', yes the whole floor has been rearranged so to find a particular concession requires the services of Sherlock Holmes. Of course just to throw you certain concessions haven't moved, grrrrrrr!

Not quite tea at the Ritz

A day out with Stephanie. We get the bus to Oxford Street and change to another route that takes us to The Strand, through the back streets to Charles Fox. Supplies purchased we stroll through Covent Garden and take an early lunch at Pizza Express in Bow Street. Sufficiently stuffed we continue our stroll to Seven dials and into Mercer Street where Stephanie buys a pair of shoes in Poste Mistress and some concealer in Screen Face then we stroll into Soho, along Brewer Street to Regent Street on then into Bond Street. We take a look around Fenwicks who have some amazing hats and frocks. We cross and go down Conduit Street for a look round Vivienne Westwood then into Bruton Street. By now the sun is really hot and we need liquid refeshment. Where to go? I know let's push the boat out as far as it can go, Claridges. Oh yes we do. In we go and are directed to the cocktail bar and a totally delish Blood and sans Alcohol. A very pleasant hour passed we make our way home. Well if you are going to do it, do it in style.

A trip out

Up with the lark, feed cats, other household duties, have breakfast, exercise then I have to get ready. A trip out today. Shower and a full shave, pluck eyebrows well its another femme day out tomorrow as well :-) So I get the slap on and I'm off out by 9.00. Get the bus and off at Selfridges. I just have to go through the food hall every time I go there, its not just the sights but the smells, quite, quite mouthwatering. Aaaaanyway its downstairs for madame's Nespresso capsules then off for a wander. Perfumery then ladies fashions and of course the shoe department then downstairs and out through Miss Selfridge into Duke Street
As I approach St Christopher's Place a Big Issue vendor enquired 'if the beautiful woman' would like a copy, I decline gracefully and have a little giggle to myself. Its then into the heat of Oxford Street. Phew it really is hot as I dive into the relative cool of John Lewis. I need a hook, a little hook to hang a calendar on in the kitchen. Seeing how it appears the clientele of John Lewis no longer indulge in DIY the department has shrunk to miniscule proportions. Where else I ask myself? Ah curtains and trimmings, net curtain hooks of course. The last of the big spenders gets a pack for a whole 75p.
Right I am dying of thirst and time for a fresh experience. Of course I have eaten out before but always in company. Now trays and I have a hate, hate relationship I hate carrying them and they take exception to me using them. Things slide all over the place and I always over compensate when objects start to slide but on this occasion everything is fine. I take my lemonade and my extremely naughty fruit scone with clotted cream and strawberry jam to a table where I can be queen of all I survey.
As an aside I notice that that the Bistro is offering a Coronation Tea in July in collaboration with Gizzi Erkine. Ah how times change. I remember the Honourable Grizelda, for that is what she is, when she was a piercer of flesh at Cold Steel in Camden while studying at Pru Leith's cookery school. Aaaanyway I digress, in all the time I am there I don't even get a raised eyebrow, nothing. Two young ladies sit next to me and have the barefaced cheek to be slender and devour a wholemeal bun with bacon, sausage and a fried egg! Its more than I can stand so its time to go. A quick look around the photo department and its down the escalator and back into the heat.
I stroll along Oxford Street without a care in world which passes me by totally oblivious to this aging tranny. Back into the cool that is Selfridges and out the other side that is Baker Street, a quick scan around M&S and the bus home for lunch. I would have stayed out for lunch but that would have left madame without a lunchtime companion, yes I'm good like that. So its home and swiftly into a bikini and into the garden.

and again

So yesterday off we set for another visit to Oxford St. Off the bus at Selfridges and on another down to South Moulton Street. Madame wants a pair of shoes in the Kurt Geiger sale. I must admit t-girl or no t-girl I have always loved shopping. While madame tries on the shoes I wander the shop and see these wonderful platform high heels... Luckily I'm not 'dressed' and I also have more expensive fish to fry ;-)

Shoes bought we retrace out steps and off to John Lewis. Up to the fifth floor for breakfast and then into radio and TV. Now fortunately or unfortunately, as I stop to look at the cameras. Oh did I mention I was in the market for a replacement of my Nikon D90? No? Well I am. Aaaanyway as I say, fortunately or unfortunately as I am looking for a new one a nice assistant asks if I need help, not only that but he actually works for.... Nikon. By-the-by we find out that it is really pronounced Nick-on and not Nye-kon. Apparently nye-kon is the American pronounciation which as usual, is wrong. Anyway I digress. So I get him to get out a D5200 and very nice it is. I tell him I need a replacement for the D90 as its done 120,000 exposures and he appears to be taken a little aback but agrees it time for it to go. Needless to say it is the last day of the cashback offer so I get one. He also tells us that John Lewis have bought all the remaining stock of the D90 so it indeed has reached the end of its life. I was sorely tempted by the D7100 but apart from the expense why buy something that is bigger than the one you have and heavier?

More shopping

Off to the West End again today. Breakfast in M&S. Cross the road into Selfridges and a nice stroll through the shoe department and ladies fashions. So much begging to be bought, so much totally unaffordable. Do I care? No, of course not, I love to window shop, its things that are just out of reach that get to me not things that dreams are made of.

A visit to W.H. Smith in Selfridges for a Radio Times resulted in buying Tatler as they were giving away a rather nice pair of sunglasses.

We are off up there again tomorrow, John Lewis and the Kurt Geiger shop in South Moulton Street. Talking of Kurt Geiger shoes I located the flats I was looking for in Selfridges shoe department. Very nice and yes I would have bought them and been nearly £100 poorer.

Got them, wet and Poppies

Well the shoes arrived this morning. Thank you Kurt Geiger and Parcelforce. A trip to Camden today, a wet trip. Raining when we got there and raining when we left. Still we had a nice wander, a look at the new frocks in the Collectif and very nice they were too. Could be a purchase there, the only problem being that I have absolutely no wardrobe space left and horror of horrors no space to put a new wardrobe into, if I had I would.

We visited Eclipse tattoo and piercing as Stephanie wants a small tattoo but being under instructions from my son to only see John we find that he is not in today, damn. A nice lunch in the revamped chippy in Hawley Crescent, reopened by Poppies. Now we know Poppies from Hanbury Street in Spitalfields. Aaaanyway it was rather nice and provided a respite from the rain.

Bargain !

Sooo lovelies I was after a nice pair of flats, shoes that is. A totally delish pair on the Kurt Geiger site a mere £120. Well a trip to Brent Cross drew a blank. Not in the Kurt Geiger shop, not in Fenwicks, not in John Lewis. So do I order them online. I don't really like buying online unless I have to. So I have another look and I see a similar pair, on sale, £120 down to...... £29!!! Ordered them, tooo right my dears.

Whoooooops !

Well you know how it is, you go out not intending to spend much and...... well after a rather fetching bright yellow jacket bought I thought that was it. I did after all have a frock to go with it but oh no. We took ourselves off and it all went horribly wrong taking into consideration the pair of Kurt Geiger shoes I had bought yesterday. Anyway that rather nice tight black and white frock in Marks and Spencer was a temptation too far. Then of course there was the fab shparklay Kurt Geiger shoes and those fold up Dune ballet pumps in their delicious pouch. Oh dear, oh dear. Still I'll have a lovely outfit for next week.

Post holiday blues

Well we are returned from sunny Bournemouth, a quite enjoyable week altogether. The new car behaved itself perfectly with some stunning mpg ! Of course with the Freedom pass we hardly used the car at all whilst we were there.

Highlight of the week had to be our meal at The Amalfi totally yummy. Low point had to be the journey down there, rain, by god did it rain. torrential was the only word for it but it only lasted a short but frightening while and luckily after we had disposed of the motorway.

So many purchases too, frocks, handbags and shoes all at bargain prices !!